Tuesday, December 28, 2010

安全感


因为
我触碰不到你的心

因为
我要的
只是那么一点点的安全感
让我知道
你是爱我的

Monday, December 27, 2010

真的

我可以喜欢你吗
真的可以吗

我们现在这样
真的可以吗

我真的可以想你吗

你真的会想我吗

你是真的喜欢我吗

对我说的一切
都是真的吗

拥抱的那一刻
也是真的吗

好想好想
也是真的吗

你知道吗
歌词还没浮现
泪水已经忍不住流下

我害怕
也胆怯了

像梦


脸颊会痛


这不是梦


是真的


也是真的

找回自己

有时候我真的不能明白
我的任性
让你们困扰了吗

我的脚步
一定要跟随着你们吗

我的人生
难道不是由我决定

等我对自己有了自信
这一切
都会不一样

Sunday, December 26, 2010

没有比家里更舒服的地方了
我赞成

终于到家了
在机场看见妹妹与爹地来接机
有很温馨的感觉
妈咪病了
希望她能早日康复
因为我有好多话想对她说

踏入家里
发现烦恼也随着空气漂走
狗狗们都摇着尾巴欢迎我们
不过
好像都对我们蛮陌生的

房间 好空
除了一些摆设品还有书籍
几乎只剩下家具

躺在大大的双人床
很舒服
好久没这样三姐妹聚在一起聊天
我喜欢
这样的感觉

今天一早就爬起来了
不知道为什么
每一次回来
都会这样

爹地妈咪应该很寂寞吧
我们都不在家
没有声音 没有欢乐
没有吵闹声
应该会觉得很冷清吧

我以后一定要多多回家陪他们

一如往常的
ahboy又在房外大叫了
我反而不会觉得吵
因为
我很怀念这样的日子

虽然回来总是闲着没事做
但是
回家
让我感觉
好幸福

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Weirdo it is.

I'm not happy, i'm going to repeat this sentence alot today because i'm really unhappy. The only reason is, i dont know why am i unhappy. I just have the feelings that, hmn, something is in my mind but i dont know what is it. Something is around me, something, i cant feel? Enough making it scary, the something i mean would be relationship. Between me and somebody else. I still cant manage my relationship well, as in i still cant manage my life well. I'm 21 and yet i live my life without any passion and any goals. Maybe i should change. But how? Who and what am i going to change to?

Merry Christmas everyone. Imagine you celebrate your christmas with your love ones. Arhhh, i wanna go home. Sometimes i talk to myself, sometimes i talk to the wall, or maybe my teddy. At least, they listen to me. I cant find someone to talk to, as i think i'm weird, too weird to share my things to anyone. Oh well, weirdo it is.

有没有试过 心里满满的不悦
千百支针刺在心口 但是却哭不出来

拖着沉重的包袱 走到了一大片草原
小草们都是人们的烦恼

有一天
一定要大家相约在一起
把草连根拔起
就想把烦恼抛开一样
不要再把不开心和不如意
深深的种在心里

有一天
心里的那片草原
种下的
一定是快乐和幸福

Thursday, December 16, 2010

bli bla post

3 more hours to my final exam and i'm sitting in front of my laptop, keep on pressing f5 on facebook. Boring huh. I was like, yee? my friend post something on facebook, tak kisah la, LIKE saja, then leave some comments. This is what boring people like me do. Has been sick for the past 2 days and now i'm still having fever urh! Sneeze alot but i cant consume the flu medicine cause it will makes me sleepy. I dont wanna fall asleep in the exam hall, i wanna finish the questions as fast as i could, and then run away from the hall. Cant imagine , me , sitting inside, wearing thick jacket, shivering, sneezing. URH!

Boring lifestlye i had lately. So i might as well blog about some old things? Erm, like, what i feel towards who? or something? Hmn. I'm going back to my hometown on 21Dec, very soon! Yeah. Gonna miss Kampar alot but when i go home, i feel like not coming back to Kampar anymore. Hee. Nowhere is better than HOME! Who is going to read ur blog with lotz of lotz of words and without any pictures? Urh, tak kisah lah, i write saja, u wanna read anot u like lah. Lately feel like mumbling alot, hey hey yo yo watzup !

Serious problem now, i dont have a laptop! Omgosh! How am i going to play gg when i'm back to my hometown? I dont wanna stay in my room looking at the ceiling, Nooo! Should i buy a new 1 or just fix the old 1? Hmn... Hmn... NEW 1. En who doesnt love new things? I wan SONY VAIO, preferable PINK color! I dont care, i want it and i want it! Sometimes i do hope my daddy reads my blog. No, sometimes no, propably too much secrets. Hee. Mom and Dad are on a vacation in Bangkok. Ahh, so syok. Pity aku punya little sis stuck at ah ma's house. Good thou, can increase relationship between new kakak and herself. What am i going to do in the 3 weeks holiday? Sleep eat sleep eat again? Try to help kakak but accidentally break the dishes again? Helps mom to go to fetch my sis but lost in my hometown again? URH. I need something interesting, like wat? If only there's some k BOX or maybe gsc or tgv? I seriously needs entertainment! ARHHHHH! Life withour entertainment is boring! Ok lets see what we have in my hometown. We have pub, erm, or not pub? We have kopitiamS! ALOT of them! But everytime i go back we go Oriental Kopitiam, yes, the same 1. Everynight. Maybe its because they have nicer view? Others than that, what else we have, hmn, oh ya, bowling and snooker centre. Erm, i prefer not to go. Too many people, i'm afraid of people, phoebia. Lets see, we have astro on demand, which makes me sit still in front of the television on 8.30pm every weekdays. When it is weekends, i'll be like a zombie walking here and there in my house. Sometimes talking to my fish, hey fishie fishie, how r u? They dont answer me thou, and people might tot that i'm crazy. Duhhh. Erm, we have ktv, erm, still the old 1, dao xiang by jay chou? I wan new songs! Now i wish daddy could read this.

Ok lah i know my blog post looks dull without any pictures. Let me show you a picture of mine, very Comel 1.

nah, tak boleh tahan rite? aiyooo @@

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sick

I'm sick, gosh! I'm SICK. Seriously i dont know why. I'm not having flu or sore throat or anything that relates to fever. But now i'm sitting in my room, feeling dizzy, headache, sore throat and having flu and fever. Went to the clinic last nite and gosh the doctor said i have high fever which is 39'C. Woke up like THOUSANDS of time in the night. Hard to fall asleep yet wake up with serious headache. The doctor ask me to get an injection but NO WAY! I'm scare! Remember last nite i went to the clinic and there was a baby who is sick and the moment he went in the room, he cried so loud. That scares me, i'm so afraid of listen to baby crying sound in the clinic. Ok, i admit, i was scare to go to the doctor, it was my sis who PULL me there. Japanese exam tomorrow and i haven memorise any hiragana or katagana, gg i guess. I think i better dont go to the exam hall. 1st, i wont know how to do, 2nd, it is freezing in there. Ah mei is going back to kb with me at 21Dec and not coming back. She told me that the more childish i am will make her more mature. She is the one who taking care of me when i'm sick, she cook porridge for me, bring me to clinic. I'm moving, yeah, to Jamie's house due to some housemates problem. Mom said i always have housemates problem, I dont und, izzit my fault? People likes to complaint wat can i do? I gave them the reason to complaint? Or maybe people just beh tahan seeing me? Urh, till now i cant forget the incident. I turn out to be a REALLY SMALL GAS person. Yes, its true. Parents went to Thailand this morning and i cant call them T_T Tot can maja with my mom awhile. Hmn hmn, by the way the medicine smell sux. Dont ask me why i smell them b4 i eat them. Mom said this is me, i smell everything, maybe i was a dog in the past. Hee. Look at my medicine T_T

btw, gonna take a rest now, love ya <3

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

some little feelings of mine

I miss home, i miss daddy i miss mummi i miss my sis and i miss my pets. I still miss kakak but she's back to Indonesia and propably not coming back to Malaysia anymore. I miss sitting in the living room watching movie with daddy. When i'm at home i hate mummi grumbling bout this and that but when i come to Kampar i kinda miss it. When you need to think of what to eat where to eat then you started to think about your home. When its dinner time you'll see your favourite dishes on the dining table and you will be dining with ur family. I miss ah boy scratching my legs asking for food when i'm having my meals. I miss the bitter herba drinks from ah ma. I miss singing k with mummi and we both try to sing high pitch but failed. I miss golden waving his tail at me when i get back from outside. I miss sleeping with my sis in her bed and grab away her blanket. I'm bad.

Now that the only sis i'm having here with me at Kampar is going to leave me. Kinda upset for that because she is always the one who understands me and take care of me. We used to fight we used to get angry bout some c2pid things but in the end we're back chit chatting with each other, tickling each other and laugh together. We used to talk about secrets we used to sleep together on a small small bed. We used to gossip bout others and tell love stories. Who is going to share my secrets when you're gone, who is going to share my sadness when you're gone, who is going to gossip with me, who is going to sleep with me after watching horror movie who is going to be inside the room when i knock on the door. Who is going to be fighting with me about the korean songs? I love u mei. It will be lonely without you here with me but i cant be selfish. If you are not happy with your life right now, think of what you want to be, think of what you cares about and follow your feelings. Best of luck^^ Love ya ♥

Saturday, December 4, 2010

天真无邪的笑容 又在跟我玩起躲猫猫
摸遍了四处 找遍了野岭 还是找不到

时钟响了十二下 那洪亮的十二下
敲醒了沉睡中的心灵 却无法让梦苏醒

朦胧中我看见你 站在远处对着我笑
我试着靠近你 但是不管我怎么努力
都追不上你

当我决定喘口气 抬起头你却已经不在
你脆弱的时候会做什么

手中的小熊被泪水弄湿了
如果有一天 眼泪流干了
我该怎么办